Toos Roelofs' Eulogy

In grateful memory of

Toos Roelofs-Ribberink

* 10 March 1932 † 23 March 2009

Toos grew up in a closely-knit family, together with her younger brother Ben. When mama was 21, she lost both her mother and her father within one month of each other. Mama never managed to fully process this earth-shaking experience.
Toos was a strong, intelligent woman with a sociable and caring personality. Partially because she was such a good judge of human nature, mama was very much appreciated when she worked as a social worker.
Our family was the most important thing in her life. Mama wanted it to be warm and close, which wasn’t always easy to achieve. With enormous and selfless dedication she applied herself to this. Saturday nights with games, sodas and potato chips are a dear memory to us.
Mama’s humour was characterised by short, razor-sharp statements. This trait even surfaced in the last few months.
Toos was a devout woman, but in a private manner. Religion was important in our upbringing, and if we ever didn’t feel like going to church, mama would say: ‘You don’t have to, but you wíll go’.
Mama loved children. This makes it extra sad that she only had a short time to enjoy her own grandchildren.
Regrettably mama wasn’t able to enjoy life freely. There were always things she was worried about. Because of the high standards she applied to herself, she often lacked confidence. So mama preferred her own, trusted environment: “No, just leave me at home”. Her illness increased this need in the latter years of her life: she realised she couldn’t blindly trust her own memory anymore. This caused papa and mama to grow closer. More and more they would sit hand-in-hand at the kitchen table.
The last two years mama’s health deteriorated drastically. External aid needed to be arranged, which she initially found hard to accept. The last year this got better, and mama regularly showed her appreciation to her caring attendants. A walk in the fresh outside air was often combined with a cup of coffee or an ice cream in the city. She was able to enjoy this intensely. Back at home she would enjoy André Rieu and the books about old Hengelo.
March 10th we celebrated mama's 77th birthday. She had an inconceivably good day. She couldn’t talk anymore, but understood everything, and her facial expressions spoke volumes.
Afterwards she rapidly went downhill and in the early morning of March 23 mama departed peacefully. It was good.

Mama, thanks for everything, you were a wonderful mother.